The Goodbye Girl

Something Old, Something New…

Rebecca Abramski — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 14:45:14 +0000

It has been nearly a year since the last time I have sat down to write…
I’d be lucky to get out a picture on “Wordless Wednesdays”
This year has been more than I even feel capable of processing….
Someone mentioned to me that the last they read on here I was still with Fracker… So, I thought I’d try to recap this past year as concise as possible…

This time last year, I was working at Rue21 and wrapping up the mess that was my relationship with John…. Our relationship had been over for months, I don’t know why we still put each other through the misery. John and I had some really good times and he was a great friend to my family and I during a challenging time but that time proved that we were not designed to be together. We tried to “be friends” such bull…but after one to many yelling matches we were done. When your relationship can be summed up by an Eminim song it is a clear sign that you need to move on…

And…I did.

I had been talking to Nic, a professional MMA fighter, since August, whom I was introduced to at an event earlier that year. I remember meeting Nic and thinking he was the hottest guy in the room…and we were at an MMA event, there was not a lack of good-looking men. He had his hoodie pulled up over his wild, curly, brown hair and his blue eyes pierced right through me as he smiled and shook my hand. For quite a while I thought of Nic and hoped that I would hear from him… I than started hanging out with John and no longer wondered if Nic would call. Seven months later and out of the clear blue I got a message from “The Killer” on Myspace…it was Nic My stomach filled with butterflies as a wave of excitement rushed over me! I was actually out-of-town for a work-related trip the first couple weeks we were “talking” and after endless text messages, phone conversations, and MySpace messages we met up. We hung out one night after I got off work and truly the rest is history!

Nic and I dated for six months and decided to marry… I knew I had a kindred spirit, a faithful companion, and a lifelong partner in Nicholas and although I was scared out of my mind…I was on board.

Nic and I are now happily married and enjoying life together. I have started a new job at Jenny Craig and Nic has been training a lot of new guys… Alex just turned 9 years old and started school last week. Life is good. Life is SO good.

I won’t promise to be more consistent in my writing because, let’s be honest… who knows?! Just wanted to update this so there was no confusion in who my husband is haha

Wordless Wednesday

Rebecca Abramski — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 20:37:51 +0000

Be Who You Are

Rebecca Abramski — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 21:16:01 +0000

“Conviction is God screaming “BE WHO YOU ARE!”
-Paul Atkinson

We are surrounded by materialistic items and people who on a daily basis try to tell us who we need to be… We see it on the cover of magazines; size two, sultry, actresses, revealing the top 40 moves to make any man hott. It presents itself it the boutique windows and low-calorie menus. We see successes in married women, mothers of well-behaved children… Who live behind their picket fences and famous apple pie recipes. Truth is, all those things are really just distractions to finding ourselves. It isn’t about who we should be, who we need to be, but who we ARE!
I am getting married in 40 days… and I am the first of a group of friends, all marrying one month after each other… naturally, I fear my wedding will be lame in comparison (I know, I know! How stupid, right?!) I am so conscious of my weight and how toned my arms are or if I am tan enough but not too tan for my bridal portrait’s this weekend….and what is probably the worst, most detrimental, and completely personal of all my irrational silliness, is how often I compare myself with the mother of Nic’s son…. am I as pretty? ‘Cause I know I’m not as thin…. Am I a better housekeeper, lover, partner, role model? That’s such a terrible confession….
I know who I am, God fashioned me with such love and intricate care… I have led an amazing life, I have seen so much of the world, I have invested love and life into innumerable things that in turn has taught me who I am and reveled more of myself to me than I could have ever found on my own… So, why do I care if I am measuring up to the ridiculous standards of this world?!
I remember in college feeling like I needed to keep up this facade so that the “real me” wouldn’t be discovered…. I though that no one would like me if they really knew me…I thought I had kept up with the charade so long that I couldn’t possibly reveal myself now and then I remember Paul telling me that conviction was God SCREAMING “BE WHO YOU ARE!” And this guilt I feel now for comparing myself to others…I know it’s God screaming at me “BE WHO YOU ARE, REBECCA! BE WHO I CREATED YOU TO BE! I FASHIONED YOU PERFECTLY, DON’T QUESTION WHAT I HAVE GIVEN OTHERS, it isn’t about what you think you deserve or what you see that you think you should have…I made you beautiful but not perfect to save you from vanity, find your confidence, steering clear of arrogance and remaining humble. Care more about others than how you measure up to them… I love you dear child, be who you are.”

This is a challenging time for me… there has been a lot to take in… there has been many changes…but I have strived, successfully, to remain who I am.

ChEcK!

Rebecca Abramski — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 18:55:21 +0000

Just thought it would be appropriate to update our list with the new season of The Buried Life!

The Galatians 5:13 Project

1. ~~Build a house with Habitat for Humanity~~
2. “Free Hugs” in Time Square
3. Rock Climbing
4. Picture Jogging
5. Dance with Ellen
6. Aquatic Equestrianatics
7. Skydiving
8. Ride a mechanical bull
9. Locks of Love for Jessica -Bec
10. Northern Lights via Canada
11. Awesome Camping trip
12. ~~80′s Date Night~~
13. P-Game at a B-Game
14. Float in the Dead Sea
15. Dance off with inner city kids
16. Play in a fire hydrant
17. Be an extra on Criminal Minds
18. Pull a prank with Matthew Gray Gubler
19. Wedding Dress Day
20. Take dance lessons and have a recital
21. Flock-O-Mingo on someone’s lawn
22. Live like a comic book character for a day!
23. Trick or Treat in June
24. Christmas in July
25. Indians vs. Cowboys
26. Start our own Parade
27. NEXT FLIGHT OUT
28. Adopt a three legged dog from the pound -Toe
29. Collect people’s stories
30. Have a faux wedding in Vegas
31. Play Peter Pan in Redwood National Forest
32. Do something UBER special for our troops!
33. Live like a homeless person for a day
34. Respond to everything in question form for 23hrs
35. See the Sunrise on East Coast; Sunset on West Coast in the same day.

Excited to cross off another soon!

“You, my friends, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13

Joy in Uncertainty

Rebecca Abramski — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 02:27:50 +0000

Dear Lord Jesus,

This week has been one of careful meditation and endless intercession.

Thank you for your clear direction, your steadfast love, and a peace that truly passes all understanding….

I don’t know where you will lead me in this place but I know the Joy you have given me to see me through and I trust You.

With love and appreciation,

Always…

Your little Girl

Clarity

Rebecca Abramski — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 15:27:14 +0000

God,

I have no idea how I got here…

And I can’t seem to find my way, I don’t know what to do.

How much do I tolerate before I am stuck?

How long do I bite my tongue before I completely lose my voice?

How hard do I fight before I just give up?

How do I know when to throw in the towel?

If he thinks I deserve better than why doesn’t he start treating me better?

Why do I feel like I don’t deserve better?

I don’t know how I am still hanging on…. I think it’s because You haven’t let me go… I hope you’ve got a tight grip because I don’t know how much longer I can keep up…

Lord, I am listening….I am seeking…. I am here….meet me here. Show me your ways and in this seemingly insignificant part of my life please give me clear direction.

I just don’t know what to do….

Truisms

Rebecca Abramski — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 16:55:38 +0000

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wear this – ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear get dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’ll bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

30. My check engine light has been on for three months now and nothing’s happened. I’m starting to think that my car is just attention deprived.

31. Sometimes I pretend not to remember details about people because having a good memory apparently equates to creepiness.

32. My GPS says “Estimated Arrival Time.” I see “Time to Beat.”

33. Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

34. My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster.

35. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

36. I wish it were appropriate to say to a complete stranger, “Excuse me, would you like me to show you how to discipline your child?”

37. I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn’t the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium afterwards?

38. Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.

Behind the Headlines

Rebecca Abramski — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 22:23:47 +0000

I know today is “Wordless Wednesday” a great concept I stole from my friend, Brittany, where a picture is worth a thousand words. For the past few weeks it seemed like all I could do was participate in Wordless Wednesday because I just seemed helpless to find the words that could convey my heart….
Well, I do believe I have been silent long enough and although it is “Wordless Wednesday” I do have something to say…
I know many of you have read the Newspapers and watched the local news channels as they have dragged my family’s name though the mud in the past month… It seemed like every day it got worse and worse… I know I would sit at my computer, reading the latest, and think “this just can’t get worse…” Than the “latest” would surface and I was yet again blown away by the audacious lies being thrust around… Now, I’ll give them credit…they have worded their articles just “so” to lead everyone to my brothers hanging without knowing any of the real facts. Good job you illiterate, unjust, media people, who do not know how to do accurate reporting or even use spell check…
There was a woman who works for WSLS that was in the court room on the day of Bruce’s bond hearing and appeal who later reported that Bruce “had over a dozen supporters present” (There were 17 of us there that afternoon) and she seemed rather surprised by it… Maybe she realized that Bruce is an “average Joe” with a loving family, a little girl he needs to come home for, an out-going, social butterfly, an elite athlete, a glowing friend, with a bubbly spirit, and a smile a mile long. NOT the gun-slinging, murder-plotting, monster they are portraying him to be.
This whole mess has been stressful to say the least… I know everybody handles things differently…in the beginning everyone, not just my sister, was a blubbering mess, crying all the time. My dad couldn’t seem to get two words out without falling apart. I didn’t cry though. I remember asking my cousin, Ray, if he thought I was heartless because I hadn’t shed a tear for my brother. It’s well-known that I am a tough girl but I didn’t feel tough…I just felt numb. It wasn’t until a few days later, while I was on the phone with my sister, Jessica, that I began to sob and promptly got off the phone. Since then I’ve felt hot and cold to the whole situation. I started to feel like I was getting back into the swing of things, cooking, cleaning, going out with a friend or two… and then I felt like I relapsed back into my numbing state…It is difficult to deal with all of this and have people asking you how you are doing… Like, really?! Com’on people….how would you be doing? I know I seem like a rock but my soul is being crushed.
Bruce isn’t just my big brother, my “twin”, my go-to-guy, he is and has been one of my best friends for the past 24yrs and 10months (my birthday is coming up soon…Sorry, I just had to throw that in there…). And when people are constantly asking it’s like what else is there to say other than “I’m okay.” “Hanging in there.” “I’ll be fine.” I appreciate the concern and I know that is why people continue to ask to me… but when my sister asked my repeatedly the other day I just snapped! NO, is that what you all want to know? That No, I am not doing okay! I am scrambling for the last peice of thred to keep me hanging on and although I know I will be “just fine” I don’t feel it right now….Everyday my head is racing with a million different thoughts… I worry about my brother and all he is going through because underneath that hard exterior is a joyful kid who is scared to death. I hate going out with friends who “just want to get my mind off things” and make me feel like I can’t mention Bruce. I am fearful everyday that my boyfriend is gonna wake up and want out of this crazy mess. I worry that my friends will start to dwindle because they just don’t care that much… I am so stressed that I want to abandon everything… I spend days on end ferociously defending Bruce and disregarding hate mail or ignoring the mean things people are so brazen to say… and then I spend a whole day in bed….than I rinse off and repeat. That is my life right now.
My poor John takes me out and makes every effort to get my mind off things…but I carry my brother in my heart, it never seems to matter where I am, he is never far from my mind… His Bible is proof of that, when I was in VZ he let me borrow his Bible because it was more compact than my big, bulky one, and easier to travel with. I wrote a letter to Bruce in the front page of his Bible, describing the country and all I was experiencing. I remember wishing he was there, the ant hills were like the dirt jumps Bruce and I would build with our friends… And still, I wish he was here…and if I could, I would trade places with him in a heartbeat.

I was surprised by the sweetest card from Brittany today… it really picked me up and reminded me that even I need to be encouraged in all of this… I keep telling people to send Bruce cards and letters if they would like and I encourage everyone to even send my parents a “praying for you” note….and the last thing I expected was for a card to be sent to me!

Bottom Line: Don’t believe everything you hear/read…There is more to all this than the media is informing you of…
There is a group on Facebook, Innocent Until Proven Guilty where you can voice your questions and thoughts. I know our family has been overwhelmed by the support of friends and family and we thank you. We appreciate all the love and prayers. We have a long, hard, fight ahead of us… but we are going to fight, we haven’t given up on him, and no matter how long this takes or how tough it gets, we will always remain faithful to our cause to free the innocent!

Wordless Wednesday

Rebecca Abramski — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 19:40:28 +0000

Wordless Wednesday

Rebecca Abramski — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:08:48 +0000